Authoritative parenting which uses reason and joint decision-making whenever possible may be the most effective approach (Berk, 2007). Parents may have to modify their approach to parenting to accommodate the child’s growing independence.
Family relationships change as preteens want to spend more time with friends.ĭuring middle childhood, children spend less time with parents and more time with peers. "It is good to praise their accomplishments and to let them know that they are special" and know they may like their independence and space, she adds.Figure 1. The most important thing, though, is "not to leave them out or ignore them in a relationship," she says. If you're a middle child dating a middle child, you may need to watch out for bottling things up, she notes. She adds that interestingly enough, some psychologists suggest middle children are better matched with last-born kids as a partner because they can bring them out of their shell more. Family therapy may also help if you notice your child is having consistent issues with rebelling or acting out. "Give them their own alone time and praise their accomplishments," she notes. "These can all be skills that can serve you in the world."Īnd for parents who are raising middle children, Sherman explains that the most crucial thing is to make your middle child feel important and special.
#Middle child depression how to#
Here's some background on what they are and how to use them to your advantage.Īccording to Sherman, one of the best ways to use "middle child syndrome" to your advantage is to lean on the strengths that being a middle child gave you: "Oftentimes need to recognize other people's needs and be patient," she says. But that's not to say that middle children can't relate to the common traits of "middle child syndrome" or benefit from paying attention to them. So, middle child syndrome probably won't be a bona-fide medical diagnosis anytime soon. In response to this research, another study, boldly titled " Settling the Debate on Birth Order and Personality 2 ," concludes that "birth order has little or no substantive relation to personality trait development and a minuscule relation to the development of intelligence." One 2015 paper titled Examining the Effects of Birth Order on Personality states, "We consistently found no birth-order effects on extraversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, or imagination We must conclude that birth order does not have a lasting effect on broad personality traits outside of the intellectual domain." They also tended to report higher levels of self-esteem.īut for every study finding that birth order traits are legit, there's one that concludes they aren't. The middle child may be left out The closer the children are in age, the less energy the parents may have had to give, exacerbating the problem."Īnd there is some research suggesting that birth order might influence personality and mental health: For example, after analyzing 404 children, one 1988 paper in the Journal of Genetic Psychology 1 found that first-born children were less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety than middle and younger children. When considering why middle children are the way they are, one comprehensive book by two therapists titled The Middle Generation Syndrome notes, "If there are only three children, the first gets to be the oldest and the youngest gets to be the baby. Since the '60s, a good amount of research has been done on Adler's birth theory and middle children, but much of it is conflicting.
Not only can this can affect their self-esteem and confidence, she says, but according to Adler's theory, it can result in them having trouble sticking up for themselves or finding their place or role. Middle children: The kids in the middle are thought to be more likely to "have a syndrome like an inferiority complex because they lack attention and aren't the oldest or youngest," Sherman explains.They're expected to set an example and may feel a greater sense of responsibility to do so. Firstborns: As Sherman notes, firstborns are typically thought to be "responsible, achievers, reliable, cautious, leaders and problem solvers." The theory goes that they get the most attention from parents, and as such, often have high expectations placed on them.
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